God, please make it stop…

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The fire was spreading across the entire width of the complex fanned by 40 mph winds that came in with the cool front. I read later it was like a blowtorch. All I knew at that moment was time was running out and I felt trapped and scared…I couldn’t reach over to unlock my gate because of the heat.

My instinct told me to kick the gate and to kick hard! You’d think a lattice framed gate would be easy to kick open. One kick, nothing happened…second kick and my foot went through and got stuck, then down I went. As I fall backwards on the hot pebble-stone patio, I look up and see the flames on the balcony overhead. At one point my robe caught fire on the bottom but I was able to put it out. I think I hear someone yelling “FIRE…GET OUT!”, but it was in a distance. Oh God, “HELP!” God help me I shouted out loud…God help me get out of here! No response, nobody coming to help…I managed to get back to my feet and kicked a few more times before the gate finally gave way…my right shoe had come off and the pavement was so hot it was burning my foot. I kept falling to the ground. Now that I was out of the patio, could I make it across the street and get far enough away from the cars before gas tanks start to blow?

I stumbled across the street and sat down, I couldn’t walk or go any further. I was terrified watching the building burn, not seeing anyone else coming out and not hearing any voices. I prayed for the other residents to get out but feared the worst…and then I heard a shout telling an upstairs neighbor at the far west end of the apartments to come on out the window, the first responders had a latter and were there to help her down. Oh thank you Jesus! I cried, knowing I was safe and that someone else was too, but I still hadn’t seen anyone else. Where was everyone, were they alive or dead or dying? I knew the people above me had a little dog and others had pets as well, I even prayed for those little babies. I could only imagine what I would do if my three cats had been with me. I wouldn’t have been able to get them all out…a few moments longer inside and I wouldn’t have made it out myself.

It seemed like forever, sitting there, cradling my knees to my chest with my arms around them. Where were the fire trucks, why was it taking so long? The second story was totally engulfed in flames as I reached the other side of the street. After hearing and seeing Gail being rescued, I knew someone would surely see me and come help me too…and finally, he did…

“We have to move from here” he shouted…”we need to get to the grassy area away from the direction of the fire!” as he pointed to the far west side, away from the building.

“I  can’t walk” I replied. He helped me up but had to call for someone else to come over so I could be carried to a waiting ambulance. They had to stop at one point and catch their breath when the heat and my weight almost made them stumble…but they got me to safety and into the hands of the EMT’s. They were my heroes!

And then the trembling and the pain hit me, and the questions…what’s your name, how old are you? Were you in the apartments, which one were you in, did anyone else live there with you? Feeling my hands and legs burning and my whole body shaking, I answered the ones I could and asked if they could give me something for the pain…”we’re working on it” I heard a female voice tell me, assuring me I would be okay.

I don’t remember hearing the sirens as the ambulance drove off, only the pain and wishing it would stop…God please make it stop.

if tomorrow never comes

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Day 1 post:

We don’t live each day as if tomorrow may never come, even though we know there are no guarantees…Bad things happen, to everyone, at some time or point in their life. After something bad has happened to you or someone you know, (as in a horrible fire) you’ve probably heard the expression regarding all things working together for good…and you think to yourself, what good could possibly come out of this?…and maybe you even ask the question of the person who just said that to you…and then you cry…you just cry.

The day starts out like most any other day, pretty much the same routine as usual…whatever that may be for you, no conscious thought of impending disaster or something happening that could turn your life upside down. You just go, you just do, you just go about life the way you always do. That’s the way it should be. Right? We cannot live our lives worrying about things that may or may not happen…that isn’t living, it’s just existing. Is this as good as it gets?

November 2, 2011. Today is my day off. YEA! I sleep late and plan to get my apartment ready for the landlord to show to prospective tenants interested in renting the apartment next door. I had moved in to mine on August 9th, excited and glad to have my own place right across from the harbor and in the middle of downtown. Rockport, TX…small town beauty, walking distance to beach, gift shops, restaurants…five minutes from Wal-Mart, grocery store, and just about anything a person could need.

I was a “happy camper”… Had a job, great photo locations to satisfy my passion for photography, friends, a good church to attend, and could talk to family everyday. Internet made staying in touch with loved ones easy, photos, live web chats and video was like being in the same room with them. Life wasn’t perfect, but I was happier than I had been in a long time.